Title: Presidential Perks

" Congratulations. You've just been elected president of the United States you're about to become the most powerful person in the free world. So get ready for some changes. First put your wallet away presidents do not carry cash all your personal finances will not handled by your team of accountants and advisers. And your card. You don't need that anymore either this beautiful custom made level. Is your new set of wheels for the next four years Cadillac one boasts a sleek black exterior complete -- presidential logo and state of the art technology. Plus it's 35 car motorcade will prevent you from sitting in those pesky traffic jams guaranteeing -- a smooth ride around town. And while you're in town check out -- hall 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue offers 132 -- filled with priceless American antiques. In a service staff of over 100. No need to pick up after yourself anymore the White House staff will be at your disposal 24 sevenths they clean every room cook every -- and even do the -- I don't worry about those state dinners for 200 guests the social staff has backed -- playing your menu select the flowers and send out every invitation. We all know warnings can be tough while luckily your private residence staff will be ready to -- you every day. Breakfast in -- has been the preferred wake up call for some first families but sometimes you may just want to grab a quick -- before -- check in with your ballet who have already had your clothes selected and pressed. Work commutes could be a drag but don't worry your work at home president's office is conveniently located just yards from your residence quarters and why are adjusting to your new work environment you should take a few minutes from a busy schedule. The ticket dip in your Olympic sized heated pool just yards from the Oval Office. Of course there will be weekends when you want to get away from at all and the answer is located just an hour away in the -- of Maryland. Camp David will be your weekend retreat paradise but don't bother taking the level. He'll take your private helicopter for these traps marine one will pick you up when the White House south lawn and take you directly to your destination. Marine one is also good for trips to Andrews air force base -- 747. Plane Air Force One will be waiting. So why you're on your new jet sipping champagne and speaking to world leaders know that the months of grueling exhausting campaigning well worth it. Oh and by the way the sign your hearing right now that tears to your personal marine band will play when you arrive at every event. At least for the next four years."